It seemed like a “nice” idea at the time. “It seemed like the right thing to do”. “Well somebody had to do it, and I thought I could”. “Well, I just felt it had to be done”. “I prayed about it and I felt it really was my calling”. Next time I say any of the above can somebody give me a good slap and say “but then you’ll work out what you’ve got yourself in for and panic”.
I have worked out that a small event I’ve sort of organised on Christmas Day evening has the potential to be an illustration of much of my life. It seemed a good idea at the time to organise an evening do for people in our flats who are staying in Durham over Christmas and have nobody to celebrate it with. I thought I was organising a chill out evening. I’m not sure whether the expectations are different or how it will all pan out. I was guided by somebody with an ickle more experience into doing a pot luck and stuff. I am now panicing though, I have taken responsibility and if it does all go wrong it’s my fault. I know what is being bought and there are several rice dishes together with the deserts and salad. Drink and plates will be bring your own – well it will be if I get an e-mail sent soon and a v. lovely lady at church has given me a big box of chocolates for us to share. My current feeling about it all is, “shouldn’t a proper grown up being doing this?” and “what have I done now?”
As I say it sums up alot of how I’m feeling at the moment. 2010 is going to be a big year in my life and one which has the potential to get a little more interesting than usual, even in my world. Third Party will take her GCSE’s, (continued prayers re. her and the whole school thing please), I will have a thesis to get written up and submitted, we will be looking for a new home, I will be looking for a new job (and finding out whether that path leads me back into teaching or something else), I will be trying to work out how on earth to fund the end of the adventure and get everything else planned done – (possible short fall), I may be progressing with my local preacher training (first preach – as opposed to the “talks” I’ve done elsewhere in my life – on Sunday – more prayer appreciated that God gets through and me and my nerves aren’t a distraction) and there are a couple of other things that I hopefully will be getting involved in during the year which are of a similar, “what am I doing here?” nature. Oh and the continued getting used to being in a relationship and trying to make time for TOH, aswell as Third Party in everything. Basically, at the moment I am looking at my life and wondering whether somebody else with a bit more courage and sense shouldn’t be living it.
Basically what I think I am asking for during 2010 is a bit of prayer as I panic and head off on whatever the next bit of the adventure turns out to be.
Excuse my little panic. I will leave you with an interesting You Tube clip a friend directed me to, which is almost enough to get me reaching for a traditional King James. May also make you giggle a bit. If I don’t get to say so again this week. Happy Christmas