God loves you and the Third Party to bits. He’s hardly likely to swat you by making her miss an exam. She is a headstrong young madam and makes her own choices, and she will do just fine. Even if she doesn’t take all her exams now there is a great long future in which she can do it. And she will do it… when she is ready.

As for your relationship, you have spent a good deal of time telling me that mine is a wonderful thing and that i shouldn’t feel guilt-tripped… physician heal thyself me old love

Hugs to all 3 of you x

I missed approximately one-third of my entire secondary school years, and had to take a year out after GCSEs (which was when I worked in CLC) but still have made it to doing a PhD (something that still shocks me). My middle brother never slept at night, was ill a lot and got glandular fever, so had to take a year out. My youngest brother has had an anxiety problem since he was about ten, which made him miss the majority of his secondary education. In year 11 he was taught at home, sat five GCSEs, four of which he got, including an A* !) and managed to go back to school for his AS Levels, which he did well in, and he has a normal social life now. But for some reason the pressure of doing well has got to him, and he hasn’t gone to many of his classes for his A2 year.

This leads my dad to say things like ‘I wonder where I got it wrong with you all…’ Which as his child is very painful to hear. I want my father to be proud of our successes, not ashamed and guilty about our failings.

Your post reminded me of a lot of things about the more fundamentalist aspects of evangelicalism which are so damaging. I get so angry with these mindsets, and the way that their influence can linger even with rational, highly educated people (like me, or you). My father had a brain haemorrhage just before I first started uni at Durham. I went in to CLC to say goodbye, and to ask them to pray for my dad, one man there (a volunteer), who knew about my depression and had previously offered some spiritual warfare on my behalf, told me that my dad’s near death was due to ’something with a stronghold down the family line.’ I was gobsmacked and very hurt. But the stupidity of his comment made me realise the stupidity of that entire paradigm, and funnily enough enabled me to recover from fear of demonic powers.

Anyway, what all this autobiographical stuff is trying to say is that I know where you’re coming from, and that I sincerely hope that you and your daughter will come through it.

Thanks for your comment, it actually helps loads somebody I admire from my “old world” took the time to comment and point out the obvious which I need to hear sometimes. Everybody is being so lovely….thank you.